Tips and tools for an ADHD-friendly holiday season

Nov 27

There are endless events and parties to attend, recipes to try, crafts to make, decorating to do, the list goes on and on. The problem is you can’t do them all. But, as ADDers, we will sure try to! Then we end up in a cycle of guilt, stress and overwhelm, which is no way to spend the holidays.

Before you decide what you’ll take on this season, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

How do you want to feel during the holiday season?

This might seem like a silly question. Of course you want to feel joy and happiness! The problem is, we often get so overwhelmed and stressed at this time of year, that we forget we’re supposed to be having a good time! Take a moment and really think about how you want to feel, and how you don’t want to feel. This will be the deciding factor in creating ease.

Is it a should?

Let’s face it, there is a lot of pressure to create the perfect holiday. The truth is, the holidays can be whatever you want them to be. If you WANT to outdo the neighbors with a holiday light display that can be seen from space, great! If you feel like you SHOULD, pause for a moment and consider what it is behind the “should”. Maybe it’s because your family always did it. Or you don’t want to be the only house on the block with no lights. Whatever it is, remember: a should is not a need or a want. It’s a belief. So, before you dig the lights out of the garage, refer to question 1. Will this activity support how you want to feel? If the answer is no, it’s ok to not do it.

Do you REALLY want to?

As ADDers, we struggle to say no. Whether it’s because we don’t want to disappoint someone, or it sounds fun in the moment, we often end up taking on more than we can realistically accomplish. So, practice this response: Sounds great, let me get back to you. Then take a few minutes to think about whether you truly want to do the thing. Will it support how you want to feel this holiday season? If it’s not a heck yes, it’s a heck no.

How much time will it REALLY take?

Let me tell you a story. Last year, I was responsible for bringing dessert to a Christmas Eve party. When I woke up that morning, I thought I was totally prepared. I had purchased all of my ingredients, I knew how much time each recipe said it would take, I felt so proud of myself for getting ahead of the ADHD. I was elbow deep in sugar and butter when I realized that each layer of the dessert I was making had to completely cool or set before I could add the next. This was not accounted for in the recipe. So, we were late for the party, my dessert wasn’t as good as it could have been and I spent the day annoyed and frustrated instead of enjoying my time in the kitchen.

Many of us ADDers struggle with time management. We aren’t good at estimating how much time a project or activity will truly take. This can lead to taking on more than we have time for and feeling frustrated and stressed about it. When you consider what you’re going to take on in the coming weeks, pause and think about how much time you have and how much time the commitment will truly take.